Wow. It’s been 3 months since I blogged?! What?!?! I guess that’s how things go when you’re stretched at every end it seems between a baby, toddler, and a house to keep up with. I’m busy, but happily so. I’ve not had much time to think about blogging as it seems my day is full from the moment I get up to the moment I go back to bed. Some days are overwhelming but most are just full and things like blogging have taken a backseat.
So, if you are wondering how we’re all doing, we are good. The hubs is staying busy, baby A is growing (she’ll be 5 months old soon!) and E is quickly growing into a little boy rather than a toddler. Baby A is rolling over and already has 2 teeth (!!!), and E is in pre-k learning and filling his mind with all sorts of awesome things (Hey moma! Apples grow on TAAAAAAAAAAAALLL trees!).
Me? eh. I’m “here” most days. I get so wrapped up in what is going on around me that I forget “me” and, most of all, my diabetes. I’ve let things go so much that I don’t even want to remotely know what my A1c is right now. I realize that I can’t expect to be perfect with it, but I also know that I can’t let my control go. My husband and kids depend on me to be healthy, and I feel like I’m having more and more “episodes” and am not healthy any longer. My body is tired and worn out from the rollercoaster caused by my own “backburner” attitude I’ve had. I’ve just not had the time I had before baby A to sit down and upload. I used to think I would like to have a system of remote uploading for convenience sake, but now, it would be an absolute dream to upload everything with no wires, on-the-go, from all devices, and get instant feedback. That’s one thing I do love about Glooko’s updates to their app because while I can’t plug my pump into it, I can have my Dexcom data plugged into it from HealthKit and I can upload my Contour Next USB into my android tablet and at least get feedback that way by seeing comparisons between weeks, months, etc. I looked at it earlier this week – my average BG is almost 170. Yep. And while that may not be a big deal to some, it’s a huge deal to me since I usually keep a tighter, lower range goal.
I feel like I’ve let myself go too much and it’s time to get back. And what got my head back into the game after having E was blogging. It was my way of working things out in my head because rarely do I go back through and edit – I simply blog out what’s in my head and get better clarity of where I stand and what I need to do.
And this is the one, constant truth. As selfish as it may seem to put myself first, it’s really not because if I don’t it’s also not putting my family first. My health directly impacts them and my ability to take care of them, and I can’t take care of them if I am too sick to do so. So, putting me and my care first, is actually putting them first… and then you realize that there are no placeholders, only the ones we’ve created, and we’re all just one unit.. your family unit.
The time has come for me to put diabetes care back into my life and to stop “winging” it.