When I was younger, I can remember having a low blood sugar followed by a high one and having it barely phase me. As long as I got the high back down ( and sometimes not even then ), I could still go out and be me… as if nothing had ever happened. I bounced back from those things like a fully inflated basketball.
Fast forward a few years…..okay.. not just a few… more like, 10-15 years. From my low of 44 between 10pm and midnight to my waking up at 302 this morning, I feel absolutely deflated. I have barely any energy, my eyes even hurt, and staying awake is very hard to do. I don’t remember feeling this level of exhaustion since my son was a newborn. Honestly, I want to go home, put blankets over the windows and curl into my bed and sleep.
What happened? Is it just me getting older? Is it my diabetes getting rougher? (I doubt that…) Granted, yes, I’m savoring the last few months before I enter into a new decade of life, and even received my first “you know it’s all going down hill after this birthday this year…” comment last week. I don’t feel older most of the time. I actually feel okay and as energetic and happy as I did when I was 19 years old and in college. But I’m just not able to rebound from these swings like I used to. I go from feeling 19 to 99. My reboundness has turned into reboundlessness.
I’ve never wanted to use my diabetes as an excuse or anything. I used to think “It’s just diabetes – blood sugar… get it back in line and you’ll be fine… it really can’t affect you that much”.. or “you’ll be okay in a few hours.. suck it up”. I do not take off of work unless it is needed for a doctor’s appointment or if I or my son are sick. Lately, I’ve had to take time for when I have to take tests at school. My work is online, but tests have to be taken at their testing facility, so time has to be missed. I work in a small business, and I feel terrible about missing days that aren’t absolutely necessary to not take. So with all that taken into account, I don’t want to call in simply because I feel like crap due to diabetes. I may not be able to give 100%, but I can work, and maybe take a snooze at lunch. But this morning? I still haven’t gotten my rebound back. I really wish I had called in and just came in an hour late or something. But, then again, my guilt wouldn’t have allowed me to do that.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever called in “sick” because of a wild night of BG’s that completely drained you? Or called in late because you wake up with a BG that makes you feel like ick?