Crazy title, right?
See, here’s the thing. A growing number of people in the DOC are hopping on the bandwagon and not sharing A1c’s for fear that their rejoicing/ranting may induce feelings of failure or pride or compairsions between others… mostly failure. I have never been one to not share my A1c’s. Just as much as I share my BG numbers and comment on others with them, I’ve also shared A1c’s with others for the same reason. To me, it’s just an average of those BG’s that been shared anyway, so why hold back? But seeing as how it’s becoming more and more the “proper etiquette” rule to NOT share them… I’ll just share part of it.
Today, I got my results in from my endo appointment last week.
This was upsetting to me.
While others would probably rejoice over the result, I focused in on that last part. The main number, X, was one that I have been able to achieve for a while now, but the last part upset me, because usually, I have an X.0 or X.1 come back. The last couple of results that have come back were X.4 and X.3.
Now, IN all fairness, I thought the A1c would have come back at a much higher X level than it did, so for it to stay the same, I was happy. But since it did almost put me into another X bracket, I was upset. With everything that has happened over the past couple of months, I totally get it. I completely understand why it went up. I just don’t like it.
Part of me says I just need to loosen up. That it was a good number and just go with it. Then the other part of me that is scared crapless by threats of complications tells me that I’m not doing good enough and that I need to get my act together and get it back down.
When do you worry and when do you let go? When do you just say, “don’t worry about the whole thing, just worry about the X.” Or do you sit back and watch each and every single X point, since variations between X’s is roughly a 32mg/dL average? Or do you just concentrate on a range of X points… like staying between X.0 and X.5 is good enough for me and my endo?