Guest Post: Fear

Sarah – Persistence Within

Today’s post is coming from a different Sarah… it’s Sarah from www.PersistenceWithin.com. She is an awesome d-woman rocking her 30-week pregnancy. She is one of the few that have volunteered to blog for me while I’m studying to catch up my CE hours for my job. If you wanna know more about Sarah, just click the link above and it will take you to her About page (and you can also see her awesome tattoo on her wrist!). Take it away, Sarah!

 

Another day at work, same old routine…
I unload my bag of all my work day “essentials” and put my snacks in the fridge.
Essentials… the black pouch with my blood sugar meter, a pen, lip gloss, and my water bottle.
All plopped down on the lunch table.
A coworker that I don’t normally work with looks at me in my maternity uniform and asks “You have gestational?”
I smile at her politely. She didn’t even say the “D-Word”, she must know the black pouch.
Nope, I reply. I have Type 1, since I was a little kid.
She looks shocked. She goes on to say that her daughter has T1… since she was 4, she’s now 14.
She continues to ask me how everything is going with my pregnancy… Everything is perfectly fine. Blood sugars are good, baby is growing normally… and I have the typical pregnancy pains and complaints for being 30 weeks pregnant and still working a very physically intensive job.
We discuss A1cs. We discuss pumps and how to make the sites stick during this hot summer.
We discuss fear…
She was so fearful of the “what ifs”… including the possibility of children for her daughter.
I smiled. I knew that fear all too well, hell, I still have moments of fear when it comes down to the future and my diabetes.
“Everything is going to be okay. Remind her that if she wants something bad enough, she can do it… be it pregnancy, college, being a government officer…”
We both laughed… and let out a big sigh as our shift started, another day protecting lives.
Fear is a normal response to the unknown. The daily life of a diabetic is unknown… the lows, the highs, site changes, bloody fingers, ketones, the list goes on. How we live our lives on a daily basis with that fear pushed aside is beyond what most people can imagine. Sometimes I believe it is the fear associated with the complications of this disease that challenges me to move forward, as if to tell me that I could let the fear get to me and perhaps hinder me from reaching my goals… or I can anticipate the fear and use that to power me to help me reach my goals. Yes, I fear eye complications and cardiovascular complications.. so I use that fear to be more careful of blood sugar fluctuations and I hit the gym more often and I eat right. I told my coworker to encourage her daughter to do whatever she wants to do, don’t let the fear stop her… if she wants something badly enough, she’ll work hard for it. Little baby Leo, who is currently growing inside me and dancing and kicking the laptop that’s sitting on my stomach, is proof of that… not letting fear get to me and working hard to accomplish a life goal of having at least one child. It can be done. Anything can be done with the right amount of determination. Fear should never ever stop anyone from reaching their goals.

Now if only I didn’t let my fear of spiders get to me… but that is a whole other story!

Impromptu meet-ups are always awesome! And, yes, fear is one of those things that never leave you when you, your spouse, or your child is a diabetic. It’s how you handle that fear that makes the biggest difference in the world. You did a great job giving helpful encouragement to her. And thank you, Sarah, for volunteering for me.

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