The big one.
ONE year old.
That’s twelve months…. 52 weeks…. 365 days….. 8760 hours….
My sweet, adorable, loveable munchkin, you are ONE year old.
This past month, I have been remembering our steps up until this day exactly one year ago. From the agonizing swelling that made my feet look like marshmallows to all the way to the Friday before you were born when I was called in to the hospital for an emergency visit because my platelet count had dropped so dangerously low. All of those nights of not being able to sleep comfortably anywhere in the entire house come flooding back, along with the pain and fear of each contraction. The rush of the day before when we had the final visit to the OB’s office where they said they would admit me THAT night, and we had only three hours to get our stuff in order and be back at the hospital. The nerves that surrounded your dad and I to know that when we would return, we would have you in tow, separately… outside of me…
And, boy, have our worlds changed. You have grabbed us both by the heart strings and held on tight. Every move you make, every sound you utter, every smile that crosses your face grows our hearts to sizes we never knew possible. Every whine, whimper, cry, and pain you have felt has broken our growing hearts as well, but I know that it’s all a part of loving you and taking care of you and growing with you.
As for this month, you’re becoming more adventurous. You haven’t walked on your own, but you are a champ at pulling up and holding on tight to whatever you can walk along with for stability. We are finding a bazillion things every day it seems that we have to say “No! Not that! Don’t eat that! Don’t pull that!” And you get SO mad! Holy cow! I know you just want to play and have fun, but we just want to do what’s best and protect you. You hear “no” a lot now too since you’re learning that mommy has something attached to her with a cord. You want to play with the box and buttons, and pull on the cord, to which I have to pry it out of your hand and tell you “no”. You don’t understand what it is or why you can’t have it right now, so you get upset. I promise, honey, I’ll explain everything as best as I can until you know what my pump is and why I have to have it.
You’re also being weaned off of baby food and formula to Almond milk and table food. It’s taken me hours and hours to research this choice, but I believe that it’s the best for you. I’ve read too much about soy and it’s possible effects on the endocrine system, plus it’s already ingrained and infiltrated into too many products as it is now, so I don’t feel safe with you also drinking it.
Some good news on the dairy front is you seem to be starting to outgrow your dairy allergy, or at least be able to tolerate dairy a bit better. This past week was your Papa-T’s birthday, and out of curiosity, we let you have some cake without the icing. You absolutely loved it. We cautiously watched and waited for the vomit fest that we were sure would ensue within a few minutes… but it didn’t. You did break out in a patch of hives on your belly and chest area, but they went away very quickly after using your medicine on the area. Your dad and I were so happy! Our worries about your birthday cake and future parties eased a bit knowing that though you still had a reaction, it wasn’t a terrible one like you’ve had before. We’ve tried it again since then, and same thing – a few hives, but no vomiting. You’ve had uncooked diary as well, but that was a definite no-go, so it seems if you do have any dairy, it must be baked. And that’s progress! Your cake for your party will still be diary-free just because we don’t want to take any chance at all on your big day.
My baby, you’ll never know what a blessing you have been to me and your dad. We’ve been through SO much already together. We never knew what a challenge this would be when we brought you home, but that doesn’t change one ounce of the way we feel about your or the amount of love we have for you. God has blessed us with the most precious thing we could ever imagine.
You are my heart… my breath… my world.
I love you SO very much.
Always know that.