Breaking the barriers

I’ve been trying since December to stay on top of my weight and to try to stop actually gaining it. Over the past year or so, I’ve gained an unimpressive 30 or so pounds, mostly due to not having time to workout with school and really just not watching what I ate. The struggle came after I stopped breastfeeding 2 years ago. It was so easy to just eat what I wanted and let the fat melt away then, but now? HA. Nope. There’s nothing to get it off except hard work to control my diet and to get my butt moving. I’m way overweight for my height, and I feel horrible. Granted, since December, I’ve lost 10 pounds, but that’s been here and there, gaining and losing, teetering and tottering from not losing anything to having lost the 10 pounds all over again. Plus, with summer-swelling, sometimes it’s nothing more than fluid that I’ve gained or lost.

It’s disheartening to watch food intake via MyFitnessPal and barely lose anything. It seems like every time I almost get out of that 10 pound bracket that was my “starting” amount, I gain again and it’s bye-bye almost and hello “you’re stuck here at this weight” mentality. Plus, with my Fitbit, you can let it know you want to have a goal of 30 minutes of activity 3 times per week, and you can go walk, and it won’t log it.. because it wasn’t “very” active minutes, such as jogging. ‘Scuse me, but I’m no where near being able to jog yet, but I can walk pretty fast and be almost out of breath… yet that’s not enough, so I still see a “0”… which is discouraging.

This morning, I weighed in. I was finally under that “barrier” weight that was my goal of breaking. I was excited. I am excited. I want to keep going. I have a new barrier now. I started out again with walking last night and getting up and doing Zumba this morning. I think that will be my thing.. to do Zumba early in the morning… I just gotta keep it up and not stop. I need that push in the mornings to keep going. I want to break that new barrier and go on to the next one. In the end, it’s not breaking down barriers to weightloss, it’s about breaking down barriers to my health. And my health is worth working for.

 

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#dblogweek “Saturday Snapshots”

Yeah, ummm. I know. It’s Monday. Can we pretend it’s Saturday?

Back for another year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like!  With a nod to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures.  Post as many or as few as you’d like.  Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures, or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

So, this was Saturday’s #dblogweek prompt. I read it this morning and thought, “well, darn.. not only did I not take pictures for anything d-related on Saturday, I didn’t really pay attention to anything d-related on Saturday.  Then, it hit me. That’s just it.

I worked in my yard Saturday. I trimmed up some bushes (with manual clippers, mind you. Woman-power FTW!) and also helped the hubby and bro-in-law pull up some bushes as well. It took all day. Between the clipping, pulling, shoveling, dragging, raking, and water-or-sweet-tea guzzling, we worked our tails off, and my BG cooperated. For one good day, my main focus wasn’t on treating lows or tackling highs, it was man-handling my atrocious yard to try to make it somewhat nice-looking. The pictures I took were the fruits of our labor, not the interruptions of diabetes throughout the day. And, while I could show off these pictures, you may not see how they would possibly be d-related because they aren’t of a blood sugar number or pump site or Dexcom sensor. But to me? They’re the pictures of a good day of hard work, uninterrupted by diabetes.

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Picture… mid-cleanup. That bush to the left side? May it rest in peace.

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T:Connect Temp Fix

Several months ago, I realized that for some reason I couldn’t review my t:connect reports through Chrome any longer. I’m not one to personally like to use Internet Explorer, but it seemed to be the only browser that would work to pull up my reports. I thought maybe it was just me.. that it was just a glitch in my computer that I would have to just figure out later. Then, this came up in the Tandem users Facebook group from my friend Mike:

mike comment tconnect

I immediately replied that I had the same issue, and that I had to use IE for it to work right. Of course, not a lot of people like IE or even have IE on their computers, so there had to be a fix for this.

The weird thing was I sort of stumbled on a temporary fix for it.

I opened up my t:connect account on Chrome (my preferred browser) and right clicked and selected “Inspect Element”. I do this from time to time if something isn’t working right or if I’m designing something on the blog and I need to know what the name of the element is. And what happened next shocked the heck out of me….

tconnect screen - temp fix

As soon as I clicked “Inspect Element”, everything came up. It worked. Every tab, report, everything. It was like something needed to be jolted for flash to work. Granted, this is just a temporary fix because if you close out of the browser and go back in, the report is blank again until you right click and select “Inspect Element”. You can then just click the “X” on the bottom menu that comes up and the reports will be there until you close the browser again.

I wanted to share this with you guys just in case you are coming across the same issue. It’s just a temporary fix, but it will let you avoid using IE if you’re someone who avoids it like the plague. If I find out a solid solution, I’ll let you guys know.

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#dblogweek Day 4 : Wisdom In Listening

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Whether it’s listening to someone tell their story without judgement, listening to the older generation tell the “back in my day” stories, or just listening to your body, a lot of wisdom can be gained by doing just that… listening.

With diabetes, It’s not just about trying to figure out right now what’s wrong or right or taking the numbers and seeing what adds up and what doesn’t. Sometimes, it’s about taking the time to just make your mind be quiet and just listen to the clues that your body has been telling you for a while. Persistent highs that can’t be figured out by a simple bolus or site change? Listen to your body. Are there any joint pains, body aches or even stressors happening (anxiety, coming down with a cold, PMS or ovulation)? Maybe something you ate isn’t agreeing with you in ways more than just an upset tummy (sneezing, headaches, etc). And other times, when things are going good, it’s a good time to listen to how happy you body is for doing good things like eating well, exercising, or even just taking that extra nap that it told you it needed. The more you listen to your body, the more you learn about your body. You are going to be the only person to know your body as well as you do, so listen to it. Learn it.

Listening also applies to those around you. Sort of like the “back in my day” stories, listening to the stories from others who have lived with diabetes (it’s the song of my people!) can give you an insight to things you may have never known about otherwise. Learning the path that others have experienced and walked can help you when you encounter something similar. I’ve listened and read many, many stories of others and it helps a lot of the time. The wisdom I’ve gained by listening has helped not just me, but others who I have talked to because while someone’s story may not apply to me, it may to someone else, and if I can share that story with someone who needs it, then it’s wisdom well learned. This is why I love to encourage others to blog – more stores = more listening = more wisdom shared.

One thing I will always remember my dad telling me was that you always watch the ones who don’t say much because they’re the ones who listen the most. And when they speak, it’s usually something wise that needs to be heard. Even so now, I listen when in a crowd of people. Most people think I’m just being anti-social, but in truth, I’m taking in all that’s around me and listening and learning. I apply that same concept to my diabetes and health. When there’s a lot going on, sometimes it’s good to just sit back and listen to my body tell me what it needs fixed, rather than me just trying to fix and fix and fix until I end up with a bigger problem than what I would have.

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#Dblogweek Day 3 – What Brings Me Down

Diabetes.

It’s a mixed bag of things that control every aspect of your life. From the way that you act to the way that you feel, it creeps into your life like a vine and intertwines itself around every corner of your being, both physical and emotional.

The constant thinking of every move I make brings me down. The worry over food, the stress over glucose numbers, the fear of a impromptu walk around the block. The physical pain of poking fingers and inserting sites, though I shrug it off as no big deal, brings me down. The mental judgement that I put myself through with every high that persists beyond one correction dose and the fear of what it’s doing to my tiny vessels overwhelms me. The little things here and there that come along just when I think I’m doing a great job at this whole diabetes management thing remind me that no matter what I do, complications are going to arise, and it’s going to suck.SugaB.jpg

Does all of this mean I should just give up? Does it matter if I try or not since I’m going to face crap anyway? No. I used to think this way and tried to live a life with diabetes on the side. It just doesn’t work out. It’s okay to experience burnout every now and then, but I have to pick myself up and put my big girl panties on and deal. Why? Because it’s not just me that this disease affects.

It affects my family. My husband. My son. Knowing that they depend on me to try as hard as I can to be healthy is what drives me out of it and brings me back up. Diabetes may bring me down, but the support of family and friends is what brings me back up… back to this thing called “life with diabetes”, not “the diabetic life”.

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#DBlogWeek, Day2 – Poem

“Will I wake up if I lay down tonight?”
A thought, as I turn off the light.

Sunrise comes, snap, shunk, countdown to one,
The number revealed, the day has begun.

Too high, and I’m icky and tired
Too low, and I’m shaky and tired

Hit the goal, I’ve hit the lottery
Out of bed, I’m rested and free.

Continuing the day,
Pump and meter hidden away

Revealed when needed,
Hidden when not.

Just sitting to the side
In their designated spot.

But try as I may, I hide you, you’re there.
You’re with me always, everywhere.

I hate you, I love you,
I curse you, I bless you.

I work hard to manage and get through,
I take care of myself and you.

It’s a balance, this dance between us,
From successful to disastrous.

I can do my best all day, all week, or all year,
But it doesn’t guarantee my place here.

I am thankful for every breath I’m given,
For every day that I survive.

“Will I wake up if I lay down tonight?”
A thought, as I turn off the light.

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Wordless Wednesday : Saving My Skin

Don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. Saving my Dexcom skin that I love but don’t want to use right now by putting it on some wax paper. It sticks, but not permanently. 

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